Catch-22 Pounds

One of the things I keep being the most surprised about as I continue to change my life and my habits is that it pretty much impacts my relationships with everyone.

I really thought this was all about me, and if it was a relationship thing – it was my relationship with myself or my relationship with food.  I’m now seeing that the whole book I thought I had written was erased and I’m starting over.  My friends and family are still my friends and family, but there is a definite shift.

I thought once I lost some weight and was more confident, I’d be more social.  After all, I have new clothes to show off, right?  Not exactly.


It started out that I had to tell friends “no” when it came to Happy Hours.  I was working out with my Boot Camp, or I was just leaving Boot Camp and smelled terrible.  Or sometimes it was that I wasn’t drinking anymore.  Sometimes I was just too tired to drag my ass to a bar!  But I wanted to hang out with my friends.  I tried to make things work when I could.  I had a lot of guilt around it.  But I have to tell you, they were all pretty awesome.  Whenever I would try to apologize for being MIA they wouldn’t hear of it.

Another weird thing, that’s related, is people are just ridiculously proud of me.  From people I knew in Kindergarten, to people I’ve known for a couple of months – I keep getting compliments.  I’m learning how to take them a little better, but it’s still pretty weird for me.  And my gorgeous friends?  They tell me that I INSPIRE THEM.  Which still just makes my head spin because I can’t imagine how that works, but I’ll take it because it’s just pretty darn cool.

So who do I hang out with?  I have a new group of people in my life.  New friends who all work out with me, or near me, or beside me, whatever.  I have my whole Beachbody Team, my upline, my Facebook friends, people I met at Summit.  If I need someone to hike with or vent to, I have plenty of options I didn’t have a year ago.  I also now train with this guy.  He’s a Nurse and a Marine, and he has me doing insane things that I never would have done before.  He has a great way to push me and get me out of my comfort zone, but at the same time, I know I’m well taken care of.  He and his wife and kids have become yet another West Coast family to me.  And now he’s letting my intern with him 3 days a week while I try to make health and fitness the center of my world. 

I’m still very happily married, but my relationship with my husband has changed and is changing all the time with this.  Luckily for me, he’s also very interested in fitness and health.  He understands the workouts and the early morning wake ups.  Unfortunately what he doesn’t always understand is how my time and energy get diverted away from things that need to be done.  When I have a high volume week of workouts, that can mean 6 workouts a day starting at  5 AM.  I pretty much have to spend the week before preparing my LIFE to be on total hold.  All household chores pretty much stop once those workouts start.  So if there’s laundry to be done, too bad.  If there’s dishes to be washed, better get plastic.  Need to make an appointment?  Better block out some time of your day, I won’t have any.  I barely cook.  I workout, eat and sleep.  Repeat as many times as necessary.  That has taken a huge toll out of our symbiosis, and has been the source of many fights.  It doesn’t help that when I’m tired and calorie deprived I’m not exactly a reasonable person.

I’m still trying to figure this all out.  How I can still be a good friend and partner and have my workouts, too.  Some friendships may be slightly on pause since there isn’t as much going out to dinner.  Maybe I’ll continue to get more people on the road to fitness along with me.  But either way, this is something I’m doing for myself, and that’s the most important relationship of all.

Friend Makin’ Mondays: Questions and Answers

I had another fun-filled weekend with my spouse. For once we didn’t have a crazy schedule, so it was nice to relax together. Only being with him on the weekend is tough. I think it’s harder now than it was when we started this. We aren’t ready to make any changes to our status. He loves his job, I still don’t want to move, we still have our condo to consider. But I have a feeling there’s a reckoning on the horizon.


If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Questions and Answers:

1. What is a typical weekday like for you? I’m solo during the week and my schedule is pretty variable. I get up and do some computer work, have breakfast, go to my Circuit Training class 2 days a week. Recover, have lunch, more work on the computer. Dinner, clean-up around the house. Pretty boring.

2. Name one song that never fails to make you happy and one song that you always listen to when you’re sad. “What is Love?” by Haddaway is my joy song. Yes, I do the head bop thing. When I’m sad, I usually go to something by Dido like “White Flag”.

3. Did you watch the VMA’s last night? No. I checked out the running commentary online when it was playing on the East Coast. I did check out a couple of videos of performances after the fact. Destiny Hope was a train wreck. I can’t believe her mom was applauding and standing up. Mine would have hit me into next week.

4. Share at least two (skills) that you possess. (I think this what you meant, Kenlie.) I’m great at picking out discrepancies in things. My memory is excellent. It’s a little annoying. I’m also really good at shooting a basketball with my back to the basket. One of those weird things!

5. Share one thing that you wish you had the confidence to do. I know this is kind of a stretch, but I wish I had the confidence in myself to make a decision about my career, see it through and stick with it.

6. Tell us about one insecurity that people might be surprised that you have. I grew up in a trailer. It was a nice trailer, and my parents bought it new when I was 2 years old, but I’ve always been embarrassed at the connotation of a trailer. My husband likes to tell friends about how my parents have a trailer for a house and a massive garage because he thinks it’s an amusing oxymoron. Family’s home could fit 7 times over in garage. But, it really makes me sad.

7. If you could be the CEO of any company, which one would you choose to lead? I LOVE 23andMe. Genetics are a passion of mine and I think personal genetics and personalized medicine will be the future. I’d work for them in any capacity in a heart beat.

A little snippet of my 23andMe account.

A little snippet of my 23andMe account.

8. List at least three hobbies that make you happy. Happy hobbies include: gardening in my small patio, giving hair/makeup/clothing makeovers, and getting lost on purpose to figure out a new town.

9. Is there someone in your life that you wish you could say “I love you” to? Not really. I tell people I love them often. Obviously my husband and my parents, but I make sure my friends know, too.

10. Share one cool thing that happened over the weekend. My husband, my friend from home, and I all went to the gym at the same time. We had 3 treadmills. It was the single-most concentrated Maine population gets in Southern California. It was fun. I got in over an hour and decent mileage. Made me a happy girl.