My Average is Awesome

Once in awhile I get stuck in “The Wallows.” I usually come out of it just fine, but whether it is hormones, the phase of the moon, the length of the days, I can count on it making a brief cameo or an extended contract appearance in the normal sunshine and rainbows I try to cultivate.

(And instead of banishing The Wallows, I’ve decided to let it happen, confront it and learn from it.)

The latest installment on The Wallows has been a pretty typical one for me. My friends. My relationships. And usually the song is “No One Likes You Anymore.”

I’ve seen through this one a little bit.

Three years ago I started learning more about how to be a effective Beachbody Coach. The training includes a ton of personal development exercises and honestly, really just kicks off a lot of development that never actually ends. But, trust me, it’s a good thing. One of the exercises was to identify the Top 5 people you spend time with in your life. Why? Because you are the average of the Top 5 people you spend your time with. The Top 5 people you give energy and attention to. We were challenged to consider if those Top 5 people were good, positive influences that would support you in your life, and if they would help you become a success. I easily identified my Top 5. My Top 5 people were people that I freaking loved, and they loved me. And I knew that it would never change.

It did change. Of course it changed. That’s what happens. My Top 5 in 2014 are not my Top 5 in 2017. Three years of stuff and change and experiences have happened for me and for each of them. The problem was part of my brain was holding on to the dearly departed members of my Top 5 squad. I have a massive fear of loss. And I attributed the perceived loss to being my fault.

Members of my former Top 5 were people who are great friends, but did not share my enthusiasm for my Beachbody business. In fact, I think my ridiculous enthusiasm was very off putting to them. Which made me feel like crap because, why weren’t they supporting me as blindly as I expected them to? They just weren’t. And what I see now is, that’s totally okay. No one is required to buy into your dreams. And if you can’t convince them, it doesn’t mean you didn’t do a good job and it doesn’t mean your dreams don’t matter.

I made a few really lame attempts to talk to a few of my friends about my big dreams and my love for what I was doing, but honestly, I was scared to hear anything negative and my idea of a big heart to heart basically was a couple of mumbled sentences and change of subject.

Honestly, I don’t know what I expected from them. Maybe I wanted them to listen to me, enraptured and join my team of coaches and go full on Beachbody blue. My dreams aren’t everyone else’s. My interests aren’t universal. And I’m starting to be OK with that. Really I am.

These friends were easy targets for The Wallows. I’ll give you a taste of the kind of things my unfriendly voices would say. “They don’t believe in you.” “No one believes in you.” “You are a joke.” “You’ll never be a success.” “This is a scam.” “Your business cost you your friends.” “They think you are dumb.”

I’m a fierce friend. I’m the kind of person who is almost a Stage 4 clinger. I love you hard. I love you without reserve. But not everyone is like me. And sadly, people I loved stopped showing up for me.

I stopped being sad about it because I realized that even if people don’t show up for you, it’s not because they don’t love you. It just means that you aren’t their priority right now. That’s not a judgment, that’s life. Things and people are more important at different times because no one has the bandwidth for it all.

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Without realizing it, I created a new Top 5. I created a new Top 10. Last year I wanted some help with my goals and accountability. I wanted people to talk to honestly, and I wanted to get new opinions. I created a group of women for that mutual support. It has been fantastic for all of us. That’s the kind of support I had been craving. I think they were, too.

I’m sure The Wallows will still prick me from time to time when I see people on social media hanging out together doing fun things without me, but I am reminding myself with this post and going forward that I have everything I need to be successful and happy. And I wish everyone else the best, too.

Welcome to Your Life

Okay, so it’s the first day of the year, so it’s obviously time to take a big old stab at doing things the way you want them done, right?

I’m looking at the next year and I’m really wanting to take action steps. I’ll start with this blog.

  • Blog more.
  • Have a more concrete voice on my blog.
  • Move the blog over to a new site.
  • Integrate it better with the rest of my social media life.
  • Have better ways to connect with new people.

Now let’s talk about my health and stuff.

  • Bust the plateau.
  • Get some serious weight loss results.
  • Get certified to be a personal trainer.
  • Get paid to teach PiYo.
  • Go to Summit like a #GirlBoss.

Personal life?

  • Spent more time with people.
  • Travel.
  • Have meaningful relationships.
  • Enjoy life.

Happy 2017.nye-2008-2016

Officially a PiYo LIVE Instructor

It feels like I’ve meant to write this blog entry forever! At Beachbody Summit in Nashville I became a PiYo LIVE instructor.  I can lead classes now!  This is really exciting and actually fulfills a dream of mine that I never thought I’d reach.

I’m going to put this out there – yes, I have the audacity to be a group fitness instructor as well as a health and wellness coach.  Sure, I’m not a finished product – but will anyone ever be? Maybe I can start giving back NOW instead of waiting until a period of time in the sometime future where I feel I deserve this.

That’s crap.  I work hard.  I don’t deserve anything.  I’ve earned this and I intend to keep earning it every day.

Back in 1998 when I started going to Gold’s Gym in Bangor, ME I took Step Aerobics from a woman named Gina Toman.  She quickly became a mentor to me, whether she knew it or not.  The other group exercise instructors there as well totally inspired me.  But Gina was one of a kind.  I knew that leading a group class someday was something that I needed to do.

So why PiYo?  First of all – I love it.  Yoga is a passion of mine and Pilates is something I wish to improve at, so I had the interest when I started.  But PiYo is so much more than Yogalates. It really makes you FEEL like an athlete.  Emphasizing strength and flexibility, but sweating up a storm to good music – incorporating elements of dance and (believe it or not) gymnastics – it’s the whole package.

All official

All official

Serving people who do not feel that they can handle an intense group class is something I am excited about.  I’m still struggling with the moves, I modify. I literally have body parts in the way from doing some kick throughs.  The greatest part of PiYo is that it’s accessible to everyone.  There’s modifications YOU can do.  There are ways to push yourself, get a good workout, and be safe.  The best part is, at the end you are accomplished.

I am interested in making people feel like they can do more than they thought they could.  There is bliss to totally nailing Warrior 2.  There is a high you get from knowing you did more today than yesterday.  I want people to believe they can do something scary and outside their comfort zone.  I’m sure stretching outside of my own comfort zone with being an instructor!

Now if only I could get the musicality and cueing down.  🙂  I plan on making friends practice with me a lot in the coming weeks.  You’ve been warned.

When You Don’t Reach a Goal.

I’ve always been a bit afraid of setting goals.  As a perfectionist child, I never wanted to let anyone down. If I made a promise, I kept it.  If I didn’t, I felt terrible.  Goals were always promises I made.  Promises to myself, promises to those around me… it didn’t really matter.  I’ve been encouraged to set goals, and so I’ve tried.  Honestly, most of the time I have no idea where to start.

One year ago I found myself at Beachbody Summit in Las Vegas, staring down a giant wall that said “Never Give Up.”  We could write our goals down.  Since I was overcome by the high of being in a convention center of pure blissful awesomeness, I wrote my goal.  I’ll share it with you now.

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Well, here it is a year later and I have to tell you where I’m at with those goals.  I haven’t lost 50 lb.  That’s probably the biggest one for me.  My health is my #1 priority.  I wanted to make that goal happen tremendously badly.

I am not a Diamond Coach.  I’m a solid Emerald.  If you aren’t in the Beachbody world that doesn’t mean a lot to you.  Basically, I haven’t moved my business forward much at all since this time last year.  Overall, I have fewer coaches in my little team, and they are less involved overall.  I haven’t been a leader to get them on their way and I haven’t inspired new people to join my team.

Not giving up anytime, ever.  This one, I feel like I kept.  Initially I felt like I must have given up because my forward momentum stalled.  But here’s the thing.  I’m still here.  I’m going to Summit again.  I’m still a coach.  I’m still working the Beachbody programs for myself and for others.  I’m still passionate about this company.  I still feel like it’s the place where I can do the most good.

I joined a DietBet over a month ago.  I present to you the results on this Transformation Tuesday.

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Well, as you can tell by my hands – it wasn’t a moment of victory.  I had 1 month to lose 4% of my body weight.  I thought it would be easy.  I put $30 on the line.  I think I ended up a few tenths of a pound away from my initial weight in.  I even ran 6 freaking miles a couple days before!

You can’t be shocked when you don’t make your goals.  Writing them down doesn’t magically infuse them into existence.  I wish it worked like that.  They are also not promises I didn’t keep.  They were goals that didn’t get reached because honestly, I didn’t have a plan.  I had a half assed plan that I half assed executed.  So that was a total quarter assed plan.  Of course I’m not going to reach goals if I quarter ass them!

So I’m going to write some new goals tonight.  They aren’t just going to be whispers into the silence of the night.  I am going to write them down and immediately start coming up with a plan.  I’m going to include ways to stay accountable.  I’m not going to freak out if I get off track.  I’m going to adjust accordingly.  I’m not going to make the goals easy so that they will be no sweat to make.  I’m not going to make them too difficult.  I’m going to make realistic goals that genuinely resonate with me and get me further down the path I want to be at in my life.

Watch out for a future blog post titled: “What to Do When You Absolutely Crush Your Goals.

Why the hell have you been so silent?: Recap of the Spring

My posts folder is actually pretty clear that I have tried writing what I’ve been up to. I just haven’t been all that successful at publishing the posts. Maybe I haven’t finished my thoughts, maybe I was waiting on a photo. Either way, they never saw the little blue “publish” button hit, and that’s sad. Let’s take a moment to say sorry to the posts I abandoned.

So what HAVE I been up to? Well, the foot saga is ongoing. I’ve taken the new orthotics back to get further cushioned because I just couldn’t adjust to them. I also bought a pair of neutral running shoes. Those actually feel pretty wonderful. I’m at a loss of what the RIGHT answer is for my feet, but I’m just going to have to do what I think is best everyday and hope that it works out. I’m under no illusions. A lot of my issue is extra body weight. When that is lower, the feet will be happier, but it’s a Catch 22 in the meantime.

Me and my friend Michele at the Encinitas 5k

Me and my friend Michele at the Encinitas 5k

I’ve been doing 5k races. I did the Carlsbad 5000 in April and Encinitas 5k in May. I went home to Maine for a couple of weeks and did the Urban Runoff 5k with Portland friends. And I made new friends, as I tend to do. I have the Bolt to the Q upcoming. I’ve been focusing less on time and just on completion without injury. Funny enough, my times actually haven’t been that bad. I had signed up for the Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon this month, but I dropped out of the race. I didn’t get my mileage up with all my foot issues. I could have just walked it bloody, but I really didn’t want to ruin the rest of my week with hamburger feet. So, I supported my friends instead! And my partner in crime for this event got food poisoning the night before, so I would have been solo in my wave anyway.

My personal training regimen has been going well. My trainer is the gym’s fitness director and he’s been working on a group circuit training class, and I’ve been his guinea pig. So, there’s 3 trainers for the class and me. So far I’m the only student that has stuck. The good thing is, it’s all been free for a trial period! So basically I’ve been getting 2 -3 hours of personal training every week. It’s also been good to work with new people. They each push me in a different way and have their own style. I’ve had the chance to learn a lot and do things I didn’t know I could do before.

I've been surprised at the things I can do.

I’ve been surprised at the things I can do.

I also ATTENDED a triathlon. Make no mistake, I haven’t forgotten the reason for the blog. My husband did the duathlon and I went to support him. It was sobering. Even if I sign up for a super sprint, it’s still a big deal. This is still my goal, but I think that I have a lot further to go to get there than I thought.