If I Ruled the Gym

I’m mad at my gym right now.  Two of my trainers have lost their jobs.  My favorite membership person has moved on and 2 other trainers I liked a lot moved on to different things.  I don’t like change.  In fact, I get damn pissy about it.  The thing with my two trainers recently is really making me rethink my membership.  I don’t want to be one of those people who pay for a membership they don’t use.  I don’t want to be one of those people who goes upstairs and leisurely walks for 10 minutes.  When I go, I go balls out.

If I ruled the gym, I’d obviously have my favorite people working there.  I’d be a stickler for rules.

1. No cell phone.  Seriously.  Take your call outside.  No calls on the treadmill!  No being on your phone while walking around and keeping others away from a weight lifting station.  That’s rude.

2. No large bags.  We have lockers for a reason, folks!  Stash your stuff there.  Your coat, your purse, your clothes.  When you bring it around to each spot you work out with it gets in the way, and probably gets gross.

3. Be nice to everyone.  Don’t suggest a girl lift the pink dumbbells because she’s female. Don’t stare at someone for trying to do their workout.  Give them space, give them respect.

4. If you lock your arms and shoulders on the step machine, we’re going to have words.  It’s no good for you, and it’s a terrible example to others.

5. That’s great your kid is interested in fitness, but this is a gym, not a playground.  Kids should have the opportunity to do fun athletic things, but some kids are too young to be in the gym.  Others are being tortured by their parents because they are so damn embarrassing.  Some kids get used as bait to pick up people in the gym.  Seriously, I’ve seen this.

6. Don’t talk to strangers stark naked.  It’s weird.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the human body, but being in your birthday suit is not how I want to be introduced to friends.

7. Wipe down your equipment!  At my theoretical gym there would be no shortage of towels, paper towels, spray cleaner, and wipes.

8. Use the damn key bowl.  You spread your keys out all over the counter, you’re just making it easier for someone to take your keys and your ride.

9. If you’re taking up room in the stretching area, you’d better be stretching your body and not just your jaws.  This is not everyone’s social hour.

10. Pick up after your damn self!  You are a grown up.  You took something, you put it back.  That Swiss ball is big and it has a spot.  Find it, ask about it, and stow it.

I love a clean gym floor.

Obstacles are meant to be jumped over or dodged.

There is always something out there that can keep me separated from my workouts everyday.  Especially now that I’m seeing so much progress, I’m doing my very best to keep on track.  Sometimes things happen that can’t be denied.  Such as, a wicked cold.

(I’m from New England, so yes, wicked is the word I want.)

Last week I started to get that tickle in the back of my throat that tells me I could be getting sick.  I started taking Zicam and went straight to bed.  My preventative efforts didn’t work as well as I hoped, I ended up getting a full blow cold in a few days.  When this week started, I really wanted to get back to the gym but I still wasn’t feeling great.  I got good advice from my friend Mike, “If you can’t breathe out of your nose, it’s a rest day.”  By Tuesday I was 80% better.  I could almost breathe out of my nose.  Unfortunately my trainer took a look at me, heard me talk and insisted on rescheduling.

I ended up rescheduling for Friday and it was a great, killer workout.  Lots of leg work, some of it very non-traditional.  My trainer likes to use equipment in ways other than the nice little pictures say on the side.  As always I left the gym feeling 10 ft tall and bullet proof.

I think I’ve passed the invisible barrier that separates the period where you are very vulnerable to get off track, to where only something BIG will keep you from workouts.  Even though I gave myself the chance to rest, I knew it wouldn’t end up being a many month absence.  I knew I’d get back to it as soon as I could.  That’s exactly what happened.

That makes me feel so much better because I’m always worried that I’ll get off track and sabotage my efforts.  I think I just have to have confidence in myself.

Tales of my Fitness Past – Part 4

I’m continuing to layout the story of my life, as it pertains to fitness, body issues and happiness.  It’s really helping me process what went on.  You guys out there are actually reading this, which is awesome!  If you know me, I hope you get a kick out of all the old photos.

In my early 20’s, I had graduated college, gotten fit, acquired and left my first big job, and then, shortly after Y2K (remember that whole mess?) moved with my good friend to my state’s largest city to pursue my dreams of becoming a professional floozy.  No, not really.  We moved to the Big City because we wanted more than what our Small City had to offer.

Looking back on this time, I was actually doing pretty okay.  I got a membership at a local gym and had a couple of gym buddies.  We’d hold each other accountable.  As for training, I was pretty much going on my own.  The free personal training they offered was a JOKE, but I knew enough to be dangerous by this point.  Working out was a big part of my social life.  I made casual friends there, spent time talking out the day’s problems with my girlfriends on the elliptical.  I even dated a guy who went to the same gym, we’d have dates there, trying to beat each other on the treadmill.  The evening on September 11 when the world was going to hell?  I was on the cardio deck, watching the closed captioned news.

Yes, these photos are from house parties. But, they really show how happy I was. On one side was a former mortal enemy, on the other, a dear friend from when I was a teen.

My love of Step Aerobics was hit hard though when I took classes there.  I could keep up with classes at the other gyms I had been to, multiple instructors, but at this place, the choreography was too much.  I ended up finding a new group fitness passion.  Yoga!  I took a class at a school that tended toward the Hatha/Iyengar style and it fit me perfectly.  When I practiced yoga I felt amazing.  I was happier, more peaceful, and I called a truce with the war on my body without realizing it.  Plus, one day I went to shave my legs in the shower and felt my calves.  OMG.  Ripped!  Yoga taught me how to breathe my way out of anxiety, which came in handy for my 45 min commute on a neglected stretch of highway in a snow storm.

Professionally, I went from SUPER temp, to landing pretty much my dream job as a scientist, to being a graduate student.  I had a great group of friends.  A core part of my college group was in the Big City with me, I could count on many others to pass through a couple times a year to catch up, and I made a lot of new friends.  We walked the 3 and a half mile loop near where I lived, hiked, and we DANCED.  I was out dancing nearly every weekend.  Drinking was usually included, but everything was more controlled than it had been.  One of my favorite memories was getting ready at my place with my pack of girlfriends, parking the car in the garage across from the bar district, taking off our coats and mittens, running as fast as possible into the bars wearing little thin shirts, and boots with insane heels.

My diet was fairly decent.  When we started out, my roommate and I were the original 2 Broke Girls.  We’d frequent restaurants with “college night” specials, even if when we were out of school.  Good thing our IDs didn’t expire.  We cooked a lot at home.  I don’t think I ever drank soda, and if I ate dessert, it was usually an insanely special occasion.  We just couldn’t afford it.  I got used to cooking for 1 more often, and I learned to like eating lots of fish.  I frequented the public market for produce and even if I wasn’t “by the book” I was still more or less on “The Zone.”  I even stopped drinking entirely from Jan 1 2000-May 5 2000.  Cinco de Mayo broke my will.

OMG, this is proof I used to have a waist. We wore leis because every February I’d throw a tropical themed party to distract us from how freaking cold and miserable we were.

As for my mood?  There were ups and downs.  The breakup from my treadmill opponent boyfriend hit me pretty hard, but I threw myself in to my social life to make up for it, and started seeing a professional to work through it the right way.

Looking back, maybe I wasn’t in as ass kicking shape as I was after college, but I was in a smaller size.  Fitness and friends were the biggest part of my life.  I was professionally happy and didn’t really care about adding anything else to the equation.  And do you know what happened then?

I met my future husband.

(This isn’t the end by a long-shot.  I have a lot more to say!)